The Insomnia Blog - Sleep Doctor Michael Breus, PhD

Have you considered a ‘sleep divorce’?

I read this news story with great interest, as it covers a topic I get asked about a lot:  whether it’s a good idea for couples to sleep apart to improve their individual sleep.  

This is an issue that seems to come up with increasing frequency, as more couples appear to be sleeping in separate bedrooms. It’s estimated that 25% of couples in the U.S. are sleeping apart. This is a number that has been on the rise in recent years. What’s more, the residential construction industry in recent years has reported a substantial uptick in requests for 2 separate master bedrooms in new homes.  

What’s behind the drive to sleep separately? There are a number of reasons that couples find themselves considering separate bedrooms. Here are some of the most common:  

Different schedules: Early birds and night owls can disrupt each other’s sleep at either or both ends of the night, and grow to feel incompatible as sleep partners

Disrupted sleep: People who experience symptoms of disrupted sleep, such as snoring, or tossing and turning from insomnia, can keep their partners from sleeping well

Poor sleep equipment and sleep environment: A too-small mattress can make couples’ sleep challenging. A room that’s too bright, or too warm, can be disruptive to sleep.

Divergent sleep habits: One person likes to watch TV late into the night, or surf the web from bed. Partners can disturb each other with their non-sleep bedroom habits.

Conflicts over co-sleeping: Parents who don’t sleep well with children in bed, or who disagree about whether or not to co-sleep, can find themselves seeking separate sleeping spaces.  

With sleep disorders like insomnia and obstructive sleep apnea all-too-common and on the rise, it is understandable how couples might opt for separate bedrooms. There is no question that it is critically important for both partners to achieve restful and sufficient sleep on a regular basis. Disrupted sleep can increase risk for a range of serious illnesses, including cardiovascular problems, obesity, and diabetes. Poor sleep also can have negative effects on relationships. This recent study suggests that lack of sleep may diminish the positive feelings we have for our partners. Researchers found people with lower quality sleep demonstrated lower levels of gratitude, and were more likely to have feelings of selfishness, than those who slept well. People who slept poorly showed less of a sense of appreciation for their partners. What’s more, poor sleep on the part of one person in the relationship had a negative effect on feelings of appreciation and gratitude for both partners.  

So, sleep is important for individual health, and also for the health of relationships.  

But is sleeping apart really the best remedy for couples whose sleep needs improvement? I’m not convinced it is. For some couples, sleeping apart may indeed be the right choice. But couples who want to sleep together can and should consider addressing their sleep issues from within their shared bedroom before making the jump to separate sleeping quarters.  

Often, discussions of the merits and pitfalls of bed sharing will separate the issue of individual sleep quality from the psychological and emotional desire to sleep with a partner. For couples who sleep together, this time can be one of deep closeness and intimacy, sexual and emotional. The intimacy established by sleeping together is for many a cherished and valuable aspect of being a couple. The challenge is to create and maintain strong, healthy, and compatible sleep habits for a shared sleeping space.  

Here are some questions to consider before you set up separate bedrooms: 

Have you addressed any sleep issues with your doctor? Anyone who experiences symptoms of disrupted or poor sleep should consult their physician. Undiagnosed, disordered sleep can wreak havoc with an individual’s rest and a couple’s sleep. But effective treatments are available. And evidence suggests that people being treated for sleep disorders can benefit from having a partner continue to sleep with them. This study found that sleep apnea patients using CPAP therapy were 60% more likely to stay with their treatment plan if their partners remained in bed with them.  

Is your bedroom sufficiently sleep friendly? Several factors in your bedroom can enhance—or hinder—couples’ sleep. Having the right sleep equipment is critical, starting with a good mattress. Squeezing two adults onto a traditional full or queen-size bed will not give most couples enough room to sleep comfortably. Invest in a mattress that is large enough for both partners to claim their own space—and still meet up in the middle. Memory-foam mattresses can lessen the impact of a partner’s nighttime movements. Does one of you like a firm bed and the other prefers a softer one? Mattresses can be customized so each side has the right level of cushioning for both partners.  

Creating a comfortable bedroom environment is also important. Darkness, a moderate room temperature, and cleanliness all can affect sleep quality. Clean sheets and a dark and quiet bedroom can make a big difference to couples sleeping together well.  

Can you marry your sleep habits? Maybe you’re an early riser, and your partner likes to stay up into the wee hours. You like to read late into the night, and your spouse prefers lights out at 10 o’clock. Rather than simply trying to tolerate your differences—or moving to the spare bedroom—can you find middle ground? This kind of compromise can actually help improve everyone’s sleep habits, by moderating extreme tendencies and removing extraneous activity from the bedroom. If you get up much earlier than your partner, agree that you’ll take care of your morning routine—getting dressed, making a first check of email—outside the bedroom. If you’re in the habit of reading as the clock rounds midnight, consider opening your book earlier in the evening so you can move up your bedtime.  

Here’s one great way to simplify your bedroom habits: remove the electronics. Televisions, computers, and cell phones have no place in a restful bedroom. Both the light they emit and the stimulation they provide are disruptive for sleep. Bedrooms are for sleep and sex.  

Like so many aspects of a relationship, sleeping together well as a couple is a dynamic process. By paying attention to sleep problems and sleep hygiene, many couples may find they can work out their sleep differences, avoid the “sleep divorce,” and stay together in bed.

 

Sweet Dreams,

 

Michael J. Breus, PhD 

The Sleep Doctor™ 

www.thesleepdoctor.com

The Sleep Doctor’s Diet Plan:  Lose Weight Through Better Sleep

Everything you do, you do better with a good night’s sleep™ 

twitter: @thesleepdoctor 

Facebook: www.facebook.com/thesleepdoctor

The sleep stories of 2012, Part I

We learned so much about sleep this year. 2012 was bursting with great sleep stories, which revealed the power of sleep to enhance our health and well being, and the dangers associated with sleep deprivation and disrupted sleep. Here are my picks for the sleep stories of 2012—along with suggestions for ways you can bring the benefits of the latest in sleep science to your everyday life.

 

January

Sleep suggestion: In times of emotional turmoil, turn to sleep 

Scientists found that sleep may take some of the sting out of emotionally difficult experiences. Researchers at University of California, Berkeley monitored the brain activity of people while they were looking at a series of emotionally charged images. Some of the participants slept after viewing the images, while others stayed awake. All were shown the images a second time. Those who slept experienced a significant decrease in the intensity of their reaction to seeing the images a second time, compared to those who did not. Getting enough sleep is important for mental health. This research showed that sleep might also help ease the emotional pain of particularly difficult emotional experiences.

 

February 

Sleep suggestion: Stay at a healthy weight (a BMI below 25), and guard against diabetes, by getting enough sleep 

Research in recent years has established strong links between sleep and Type 2 diabetes. Studies have shown that sleep deprivation increases risk of developing diabetes. In 2012, scientists found a genetic connection between the sleep-hormone melatonin and diabetes risk. Researchers in this study identified a series of mutations to a gene involved in melatonin regulation that are associated with significantly elevated risk for diabetes. These mutations are rare, but identifying them could help improve diagnosis and treatment for high-risk diabetes patients. With this study, we continue to learn more about the role of melatonin, and the body’s circadian rhythms, in the onset of diabetes and other diseases. Sleep is a powerful tool for weight management, and an important part of any prevention strategy for Type 2 diabetes.  

 

March 

Sleep suggestion: Don’t ignore your child’s snoring or other signs of sleep-disordered breathing 

Children who experience sleep-disordered breathing are more likely to develop behavioral and emotional problems, according to this study. Researchers analyzed data on more than 11,000 children, using information from parent questionnaires. They found evidence of a relationship between sleep-disordered breathing and behavioral and emotional issues in children as young as 1 year. Hyperactivity, anxiety, depression, aggressiveness, and problems socializing with peers were all found more often among children with sleep-disordered breathing. Sleep-disordered breathing is actually a cluster of conditions that disrupt airflow during sleep. Snoring and mouth breathing are common signals of sleep-disordered breathing in children. If your child’s sleep appears disrupted—even mildly so—by breathing difficulties, talk with your pediatrician.   

 

April 

Sleep suggestion: Create—and maintain—a sleep-friendly bedroom 

In April we discussed the results of the National Sleep Foundation’s “bedroom poll”, which sought a comprehensive look at how Americans use, feel about, and care for their bedrooms—and of course how bedroom conditions affect sleep. The results showed that a majority of Americans feel pretty good about their bedrooms—but fewer than half said they slept well on most nights. Most people reported sleeping better when they slept on clean sheets and made their beds on most days.

The basics of good sleep hygiene include a clean bedroom, good-quality sleep equipment (mattress, pillows) and a room that’s cool and dark. The ability to make the bedroom dark at night is critical—this means shades or blinds for the windows, it also means no TV or tablet screens lighting up the room after bedtime. Put some time into making, and keeping, your bedroom comfortable and sleep friendly, and you’ll be rewarded with better and more restful sleep.

 

May 

Sleep suggestion: Curb your consumption of energy drinks 

Research increasingly shows that energy drinks may be harmful to health and to sleep. Studies such as this one found these caffeine-packed, high-sugar beverages raise blood pressure, heart rate, and are linked to anxiety and insomnia. Most of these drinks are classified and marketed as dietary supplements, which means they’re only minimally regulated by the Food and Drug Administration. Don’t let the colorful, kid-friendly packaging of these drinks fool you—some energy drinks have as much as 360mg of caffeine in a single serving. That’s 2-3 times as much caffeine as an 8-ounce cup of coffee.

It’s important to be careful about over-consumption, if you choose to consume these drinks at all, or let your kids drink them. If you need a caffeine boost, a regular cup of coffee will do the trick. Just make sure not to consume caffeine of any type after 2 p.m., so as not to interfere with your sleep at bedtime.  

 

June 

Sleep suggestion: Make sleep—and sleep disorders—an ongoing part of your conversation with your doctor.  

A pair of studies presented this year linked obstructive sleep apnea to an increased risk of cancer and cancer death. Sleep apnea is also associated with a number of other serious health complications, including heart disease, stroke and diabetes. These two studies are the first to establish a link between sleep apnea and cancer risk in humans. (Previous research has found this link in animals.) It’s important to note that neither of these studies established sleep apnea as a cause of either developing cancer or dying from cancer. What researchers in both studies found was a link between the presence of obstructive sleep apnea—and its severity—and the risk of developing from and dying from cancer. There will be a lot more research that explores the relationship between sleep apnea and cancer risk. For all the health risks associated with sleep apnea, it’s critically important that you talk to your doctor about your sleep, and any sleep difficulties you may have.

 

So much to talk about, and we’re only halfway through the year! Check back for the second installment of the sleep stories of 2012.

 

Sweet Dreams,

Michael J. Breus, PhD 

The Sleep Doctor™ 

www.thesleepdoctor.com

The Sleep Doctor’s Diet Plan:  Lose Weight Through Better Sleep

Everything you do, you do better with a good night’s sleep™ 

twitter: @thesleepdoctor 

Facebook: www.facebook.com/thesleepdoctor

Is Your Bedroom Making you FAT? 5 Tips for a Skinny Bedroom

The quality and quantity of your sleep can affect your ability to lose weight, and stay healthy. There are a great many things that influence your sleep, but have you ever considered your bedroom?

Let me give you an example. If music is on while you are cooking in the kitchen, and you have all the right equipment, and all the right ingredients what happens? Not only do you enjoy cooking more, but the food you make likely tastes better!

Adding hours and depth to your sleep results in weight loss:  a 2009 study conducted in Sao Paulo, Brazil found that while sleeping you burn 3 times more fat then when lying in bed awake.  In another study, participants on identical diets that slept 5.5 hours lost lean muscle, as opposed to those sleeping 7+ hours lost fat.

So what is your bedroom doing to keep you awake and fat? Here are my 5 tips for a Skinny Bedroom:

1. Lose the snooze: using the snooze button in the early morning hours keeps you from the most calorie burning stage of sleep, REM sleep,-which occurs most in the final third of the night.
   • You can also use the trick of setting your alarm to tell you when to go to bed, to stick to your healthy sleep schedule of getting to bed at the same time every night.
2. Enforce an Electronic Curfew: while I would prefer electronics (phones, laptops, iPads etc) to be out of the bedroom altogether, I know it is simply not realistic. So set an electronic curfew for 1 hour before lights out. This will decrease the electronic exposure you are getting before bed (which has been reported to cause un-refreshing sleep).
   • Try setting an alarm on your mobile device, or better yet see if you can set a timer to turn it off!
   • What would you do in that last hour? Try my POWER DOWN HOUR technique, it works wonders:
     • 20 minutes of those small things that just need to get done
     • 20 minutes of bedtime hygiene
     • 20 minutes of meditation, relaxation, or massage
3.  Light the path: If you get up in the middle of the night and need to use the restroom, you probably turn on a light, and tell your brain it is morning! This also slows the production of Melatonin (the “vampire” hormone that-is produced in darkness) which is the key that starts the engine for sleep.
   • Strategically place a night light in the bathroom and in the hall on the way. Now you can avoid any excess light or stumbling into a nightstand, and get back to sleep more easily.
4. Have the right performance equipment: the right mattress and pillow make a huge difference. If you are not comfortable you will not relax enough to fall asleep. If you do not have the proper support you will not awaken feeling refreshed (and thinner).
   • Consider a new mattress when your body tells you it is time, not when the warranty is up. Never sleep on the same surface longer than 7 years.
   • Replace pillows every year, or earlier if your neck is stiff.
5. Provide soothing sounds for sleep: if it is too quiet your hearing will become more acute and everything will keep you awake. Too much noise will also prevent or disrupt sleep. Consider a noise that will drown out any environmental disturbances, without being too loud to prevent sleep.
   • Think about a sound machine
   • Consider using a fan

Don’t let your bedroom prevent you from getting the sleep you need to help you lose those extra pounds.  Look around and see what you can do create a bedroom that helps you sleep better and look better!

Sweet Dreams,

Michael J. Breus, PhD 
The Sleep Doctor™ 
www.thesleepdoctor.com

The Sleep Doctor’s Diet Plan:  Lose Through Better Sleep

Everything you do, you do better with a good night’s sleep™ 
twitter: @thesleepdoctor 
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thesleepdoctor

Make Your Bed for Better Sleep?

Most of us grew up listening to our parents tell us to straighten our room and make the bed.  I’m sure I am not the only one who wondered why it was so important to make the bed; especially because it was just going to be unmade again that night!  To be honest, some of us may still feel that way.

It turns out that, like many things, mom and dad may have been right about this one.  A recent article suggests that a clean room could lead to a better night’s sleep. 

Your bedroom is more than just the room that happens to house your bed—it is your personal environment for sleeping.  A proper sleep environment is essential for quality sleep.  We’re talking about more than sweeping the room to keep allergies at bay (though a clean room is incredibly helpful if you suffer from seasonal or dust-related allergies). 

Believe it or not, the perfect sleep environment is all-inclusive.  The study found that participants slept better when

• they made their beds every day,
• bed sheets were clean and changed once a week,
• the bedrooms were dark and cool,
• and they slept on comfortable mattresses and pillows.

The participants even reported that sheets with a clean, fresh scent helped them to sleep more comfortably. 

I cannot emphasize these points enough: a clean, cool, dark and comfortable atmosphere is needed to create an ideal sleep environment.  Particularly comfort! 

The ideal sleep environment soothes all of your body’s senses, easing you into sleep.  We’ve talked before about the positive impact that acool bedroom temperature has on sleep.  You can darken your bedroom by using low wattage bulbs (45 watts or less) near your bed and making sure all the lights are off for bedtime.  A quiet room can be achieved by shutting off all electronics: TV, computers, and cell phones—try using a fan or a noise machine if outside noises are an issue. 

Of course none of this matters if you cannot get comfortable!

Many people neglect the importance of comfort.  Your mattress and pillow are the building blocks of your sleep environment.  Making sure they are right for you and still supportive is the first and most important step towards a better sleep experience. 

How do you know if you are sleeping on a “dead” pillow? Here are a few simple steps:

1. Begin by laying your pillow across your arm and look at how it’s folded.
2. Does it have a slight fold, but still sticks out at the ends?  If so, then the structural integrity of your pillow is fine.
3. Or does your pillow fold—or flop—over your arm like an old saddle bag?  Then you have a dead pillow and it needs to be replaced.

Still not convinced?  Try this:

1. Lay your pillow on top of your bed and fold it in half.
2. Now place a shoe on top and let go.
3. If the shoe goes flying, then your pillow is fine; if it is stays put then you need a new pillow.  

I suggest developing a consistent schedule that includes routine bedtime habits to calm you down and prepare you for sleep.  Avoid alcohol and caffeine within three hours of bedtime.  Know how much sleep you need to wake up feeling rested and go to bed in time make it happen.  Adding a few simple tasks to your routine, like taking a little time at the end of the day to straighten up your bedroom, making your bed when you first wake up, and washing the bed linens once a week, can help to create a relaxing ambience for your sleep environment. 

Parents, don’t forget to have the kids make their beds and clean their rooms too—tell them it’s good for their health!

Sweet Dreams,

Michael J. Breus, PhD

The Sleep Doctor™

Everything you do, you do better with a good night’s sleep™

www.thesleepdoctor.com

twitter: @thesleepdoctor

Facebook: www.facebook.com/thesleepdoctor

Would You Like Us to Send in a Human Bed Warmer?

Imagine checking into a hotel, and instead of the front desk telling you about their bed-turning-down routine in the evening (with the chocolates gingerly placed on propped pillows), they tell you about a new amenity: human bed warmers. As in, they send someone dressed in a special all-in-one sleeper suit to curl up in your bed for five minutes to heat the sheets up.  

Sound absurd? Well, it’s not. Starting at the end of January, the U.K.’s Holiday Inns in London and Manchester will test out this program in an attempt to outshine others in the crowded hotel industry.  

Granted, there’s nothing like getting into a warm bed. A cool bedroom combined with a warm bed is the perfect recipe for dozing off to a good night’s sleep as the body’s temperature takes a dip. But I wonder if there are other ways to stand out without resorting to this weird, human-required strategy? How about:  

• A smart phone application that lets you control your bed’s temperature or alert the front desk when to turn on the electric blanket.
  
• A sterile, non-human device that can be used to warm up the bed quickly when placed on top of it (note: no need to soil the actual sheets), like a big heated brick.
• More amenities elsewhere: a swankier bathroom, free wi-fi, more TV channels, a plusher mattress and blankets, etc.  

I mean, really, who wants to get into a fresh bed that’s already been used, albeit briefly, by a stranger? What if that person has a cold coming on and sneezes into your sheets and pillow when “incubating” your bed?  

This is something for which the consumer electronics industry and sleep industry should combine forces. There must be a gadget that can do the same thing and give hotel guests more peace of mind. Besides, what if you run into your human bed warmer on your way back to your room (who happens to be chatty) and you just don’t feel like engaging in conversation?   Maybe it is just me but this feels a little weird.  

Sweet Dreams,  

Michael J. Breus, PhD
The Sleep Doctor™
www.thesleepdoctor.com
Follow me on Twitter:   http://twitter.com/thesleepdoctor

Click here to see Dr. Breus's list of recommended sleep products. Click here to order his book, Beauty Sleep, on Amazon or Kindle, or here to buy it for the Barnes & Noble Nook.