Whose Bed Is It Anyway?

Usually when I am asked questions about co-sleeping or “the family bed” it is in reference to having children sleeping in the bed with their parents. But recently I was asked to comment on pets in the bed, so I thought this might be a good thing for us all to think about.

Some bulldogs can snore louder than our human bed partners, and whether your bed partner is a Great Dane or a Chihuahua, having a dog in your bed can make a difference in how you sleep. Not to mention cats. Cats seem to be nocturnal, in that they always want to choose between kneading the dough of someone’s belly in the middle of the night, or sleeping on your pillow with their tail falling flat on your face. Having more than one pet in the bed can make you the “meat” of an animal sandwich. 

I am a sleep doctor, a pet owner (two dogs, one cat), my sister is a veterinarian and I am married to one of the largest animal lovers of them all.  We have had pets in our bed, kids in our bed, and I’ve certainly heard both sides of the story. In contemplating the issues, as well as the pros and cons, here are my simple rules on the subject:

1. Everyone has a different tolerance level for these types of situations, so both bed partners must agree on who sleeps where.  If your pets don’t disturb anyone’s sleep, then there’s usually no harm (but you may not realize that your pet is actually disturbing the quality of your sleep!).
2. Understand that once you allow pets to share your bed, it becomes difficult to curb or stop the habit. Pets rarely understand moving from your bed to their own bed. And let’s face it, you dog or cat will jump on in, in the middle of the night, or whine by your bedside if you don’t let them in.
3. When drinking alcohol, no one should allow a child or pet in the bed. Studies have shown that this is when problems occur, such as injuries, pushed off the bed, smothered, etc.
4. Also make sure that your intimacy needs do not suffer from sharing your bed with pets. Remember the bed is for both sleep and sex; do not trade one for the other.
   
5. Have your allergies checked. Over time it’s quite easy to develop allergies to pets and not realize it. If you wake with a stuffy nose every day, put Fido or Tabby in their own space (probably at the end of the bed, on a blanket). A recent survey demonstrated that a reasonable percentage of pet owners who allow their pets in bed have sleep problems.

It is really a bit of a trade off. Pets are a wonderful addition to most families, and in some cases, their unconditional love, lying next to you, offers wonderful emotional benefits and can provide a relaxation response.

Not to mention fleas.

Sweet Dreams,

Michael J. Breus, PhD
The Sleep Doctor™
www.thesleepdoctor.com
http://twitter.com/thesleepdoctor

Click here to see Dr. Breus's list of recommended sleep products. Click here to order his book, Beauty Sleep, on Amazon or Kindle, or here to buy it for the Barnes & Noble Nook.

Comments

[SEOChuck]

I've experienced problems with cats moving around at night and they always seem to wind up sleeping, as you mentioned, with fur in my face or jumping and landing right in the middle of my stomach. I think it's a great idea to train pets to sleep in their own beds.

I bookmarked this article so fellow Stumblers can settle their arguments with facts instead of heading for the divorce courts.

I even ran across a website, yesterday that makes memory foam dog beds and dog furniture so you don't have to feel bad about your bed being more comfortable for your pet. lol.

The guy I spoke to is Woody and he loves dogs.

His site is http://www.bigdogbeds.com

[Business Process Analysis Training,Australia]

I was searching for this information... Thank you Michael J. Breus

[SnorStopper]

What do you think about kids sleeping in the bed. Sometimes it's unavoidable I guess, but the I agree that pets don't belong there at all.