The story reads like something out of a sitcom or a joke that doesn’t have a punchline. Woman stashes life savings to the tune of $1 million in her mattress. Woman throws out the mattress by mistake. After a day goes by, she remembers her major gaffe and frantically searches for her fortune in three different landfills. Finds nothing. One of the managers at a rubbish site suggests a homeless person picked up the mattress and probably has no idea he could give up the park bench and check into the Ritz.
Some of you may have heard of this crazy, true story last week in the news. To my knowledge, the Israeli woman is still fishing for her hidden treasure. (And no one really knows how she amassed such an amount, but she did say she had “traumatic experiences with banks” in the past, which might explain her homemade bank account.)
She may be the first person to stockpile a million bucks in a mattress and manage to mistakenly throw it away, but she won’t be the first—or last—person to resort to this old-fashioned way of saving and storing money.
Especially in times like these, as people lose their faith in traditional banks, I bet more and more people are using their mattresses… and home safe boxes, cellars, closets, secret spots, etc. to keep a healthy sum of money should something go terribly wrong with the banking system (despite the government-backed FDIC guarantee up to $250,000 per person.)
And then there is this idea: how about a mattress wallet? You heard that right. A real mattress can be hard to carry around, let alone save in a house fire in the middle of the night with your dollars and cents. I don’t think your homeowners insurance company will appreciate you claiming a lot of funds deposited into your now fried mattress. So what about a wallet-sized device that offers these “shrewd features”:
- Holds four traditional-sized credit cards.
- Holds dollars, euros, yens, pounds, and I.O.U.s
- Made from high-quality stitching and authentic mattress material (yes, it even looks like a mini-mattress!)
- Doubles as a generous napping aid (up to 5mm of comfortable padding on each side).
- Folds down to just about the same size as a traditional wallet.
- And best of all, it’s endorsed by Washington Mutual’s CFO (ahem, one of the banks seized by the government and sold off to Chase).
Don’t believe me? Then check it out yourself and have a good laugh. You might be able to rest more comfortably on your mattress if you don’t have stacks of bills beneath you.
Michael J. Breus, PhD, FAASM
The Sleep Doctor